I'm pissed off. It was a minor incident. No yelling, name calling, or questioning the virtue of our mothers. But it has sent me reeling, constantly reliving the incident in my mind. Every time I bristle and try to think of something else, it pops up again and the process starts anew. In the grand scheme of things this is nothing. In six months I will not care and it won't bother me at all. More than likely sooner than that.
But now I do care. I am unable to go into details. (Don't you hate when people do that, bring up a juicy piece of the human experience only to cop out with "I can't go into details." I hate it too but my hand is forced.) An acquaintance and I had an exchange the other night that initially was nothing, and was only a slight bother. What sent me into a rage was that the acquaintance proceeded to use that exchange for an example for others not to do what I did. In front of me and everyone else involved in this little "event" we are all working on. This was done right after the initial exchange. So there is no doubt in anyone's mind that it was my "transgression" that prompted this little pow wow. Whether or not I was wrong in the initial exchange doesn't matter to me. It was how this person handled the aftermath and humiliated me. That is what angers me.
What further infuriates me is the fact that normally I am a patient person. Very patient. Like everyone, I have my moments, but overall I am an easy going guy who doesn't get ruffled easily. I currently work at a company that values that very trait in me and places me in particular groups to specifically calm people down. But this acquaintance has the knack to bore a whole directly through my cement wall of patience and hit my nerve with a jackhammer. I have no idea what it is about this person that sends me directly up the wall but every now and then just the way they say something sets me off. I can't help it. In the past I have been unable to hold my tongue but this time I'm keeping quiet. Only my wife knows that I am upset.
One month, and I will no longer have to deal with this group and it will all be over. (Another annoyance is that I'm helping with this as a personal favor to this person. They specifically asked me to help and I did so because I knew they needed the help even more so than they let on.) Unfortunately I cannot walk away because now others are counting on my help. Not to mention that it would wreck a few friendships that I would not like to lose.
What was this entry supposed to accomplish? I don't know. Maybe a mental dump. I needed to get this out as my wife is tired of hearing about it. And frankly I'm tired of talking and thinking about it. My brain is strange in this way. I will constantly think about this and it will continue to make me angry until one day, my brain will be tired of thinking about it. And it will be at that point I realize that I don't care anymore. Unfortunately I can't speed up the process. I just have to wait for that moment.
Any minute now . . .
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